If you have a septic system at your house there are some very important guidelines that must be followed to care for your septic system and allow it to perform properly. A well maintained septic system can be expected to last for decades without a problem. For most people, this is the ideal situation and certainly the path that we recommend to every homeowner.
Having said that, we do understand that there are some people that just have an incomprehensible desire to destroy things and spend their money unnecessarily to repair what they have broken. If that’s you, then we are here to help. Today we will present to you five ways that you can easily destroy your septic system and spend gobs of money to fix the unnecessary problems you have created. For the normal folks reading this article… please DON’T DO any of the things we suggest below… these tips and tricks are ONLY for the likes of those who want to destroy their septic system and part with large sums of money.
Flush Everything Down the ToiletIf you’re looking to wreck your septic system, this is a great place to start. Septic systems are only meant for waste, water, and toilet paper. If you flush anything else down your toilet then you are well on your way to wreaking havoc in your septic system. Some common items that you can begin to flush immediately would include feminine hygiene products, condoms, diapers, paper towels, legos, fruit, vegetables, socks, credit card applications just to name a few. The only limit here is your own creativity. If you want to destroy your septic system just remember the motto, “If it fits, flush it!”
Never Pump Your Septic TankSeptic tanks are limited in capacity and eventually will be filled with solid waste that needs to be removed. Typically this is required every 3 to 5 years but it can vary depending on water usage and household occupancy. If you are looking for an effective way to wreck your septic system, then don’t ever get your tank pumped. This is a sure-fire way to cause a major system failure and will allow you to create real septic emergency! The most likely outcome is that you will end up with sewage backing up into your home. This will be an unpleasant experience for you but it will be well worth the trouble if you’re looking to part with large sums of money.
Plant Trees Directly On Top of Your Drain FieldDrain fields are the area throughout your yard where your septic system releases wastewater into the soil for filtration and dispersal. This is a very healthy and natural process for treating wastewater produced by your septic system. If you want to destroy your septic system then a good long term plan is to plant trees directly on top of your drain field. The ultimate goal here is to completely handicap the drain field by clogging up the system with the tree roots. The tree roots will break through the piping and grow directly into the path of your drain pipes. This will block the flow of wastewater and hinder the overall efficiency of the system. Now be patient, this is a long term plan that will take years to unfold. But ultimately the payoff will be worth it because the tree roots will pulverize the drain field and cause everything to become clogged and ineffective.
Divert Water Directly into Your Drain FieldNormally, we would say that you should install landscaping, borders, and drains to help divert water away from your drain field. However, if you are looking to overwhelm and destroy your septic system, then you need a different plan. Drains fields can only process so much wastewater before the soil becomes over saturated. This leads to water pooling on the ground surface and ultimately backing up your system. In order to overwhelm your system in this way, we recommend that you install barricades to channel as much rain water as possible directly onto your drain field. The more water you allow onto your drain field, the more likely you are to overwhelm and destroy your system.
We have provided these helpful tools of destruction against our better judgement. And please remember, these strategies should ONLY be employed by those looking to destroy their septic system. If you are like most people who would much rather take care of their septic system and avoid costly repairs, then we would highly recommend that you avoid the above recommendations at all costs!